*Insert freak out here*
My first reaction to this is to hyperventilate. I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO AS THE STEP-PARENT OF A TEENAGER! *faint*
I was in middle school when she was born. I am only barely biologically capable of having been her mother. Realistically, there is no way I would oppose this so long as Big Furry and her mom can work it out. She seems like a good kid and talking to her she seems level headed enough, but, she's a teenage girl. I was one. I KNOW. Big Furry is going to have to be the parent. I'm more than happy to provide moral support and feed her but I'm scared. There are several things to think about. One, she has a boyfriend. She's going to have to make a decision there about what she wants to do. Two, socially and legally, things are quite different here. There she can smoke pot, buy and drink beer and wine, and have sex with her twenty-two-year-old boyfriend without any interference from the law. Here, all of those things are illegal and if she does them, they will get her and others around her in trouble. Three, she lives about thirty minutes outside of Berlin. Its a city. A big one. Here there are a whopping seven thousand people in the ENTIRE county. The high school here is adequate and if she wants to work with horses we can easily get her foot in the door with that. We have friends that are both large animal vets and horse breeders. But then again, we have all of the trappings of small Midwestern towns: A socially homogeneous population that tends to shun outsiders. The high school is very cliquish. She could easily be just as miserable here as she is there, only for different reasons. She can't come here and decide that in six weeks she's homesick, or that she hates it, and buy another international plane ticket and go back. If she's here, she's here for an entire school year.
This coming Sunday there is to be a Skype conversation with all parties involved. There are lots of things to think about. There are legal issues with international custody arrangements, financial considerations, and trying to figure out what is best for both families. Big Furry has been so accommodating, accepting, and loving towards the Bird that I owe the same to him when it comes to his child. He has been caught off guard by the return to parenting a toddler. I can see where he's coming from, except he's parented a toddler before. My only experience with teenagers is having been one. If she does come to stay with us, it will be right around the time that this baby is due. I would love and appreciate any advice that anyone has on the subject. If you read this blog, post it far and wide. I'm standing on a new frontier. Hopefully its going to be a new and exciting adventure in family building and not a disaster waiting to happen.