My entire life I've always wanted to go on a cruise to Jamaica. I'm not sure why, but the combination of ocean, sand, and rasta has always enthralled me. We were going to take a cruise for our honeymoon but it never happened. We've never had a honeymoon. So, guess what. Livinity is taking everyone on a cruise to Jamaica in March! With the bonuses I've qualified for, the whole five night cruise on Royal Caribbean is going to cost us about $300. Woohoo! Right?
Not so fast Turbo.
The cruise is from March 13-18, 2010. We would have to fly to Miami on the 12th and we would fly back on the 19th. My Birdie will be 10 1/2 months and we will still be breastfeeding. Is it possible to spend a week away from a 10 month old baby and return to breastfeeding when its over?
Ideally I would like to take her with us. That unfortunately is not an option. The cruise has a minimum sailing age of 12 months. Barring that I would like her to be at least two before we leave her for that long. That too, is not an option, seeing as how the opportunity is now. I want to go, so I've begun looking into maintaining a breastfeeding relationship with a separation of a week. So far what I've found isn't comforting. I don't think I'd have any problem keeping up my supply, but I'm afraid that she would wean during that time, and I don't want that. My goal is to breastfeed for two years. I'm not willing to risk that relationship for a cruise, no matter how cheap or how awesome.
If we were to go, she would stay here. I've got enough family right here that she is comfortable with. From talking with my Dad, Grandma, and the Birdie's Uncle Hat (I'll do a post on him one of these days) it sounds like she would even be able to sleep at home in her own crib. That would be helpful and would cut down on the change in routine. I would have enough milk stockpiled so that wouldn't be a problem. I know she would be well taken care of. I doubt she'd even have to miss church.
For me, the thought of leaving her for so long is difficult. I'm just as attached as she is. DH really wants to go. We never had a honeymoon, and she'll be nearly a year old. He's ready for a romantic getaway.
As I said before, if I can't find some reasonable advice on how to keep up the breastfeeding relationship while away, then we won't go. Breastfeeding is too important to me. Does anyone know of any good resources? I've checked out LLL and Kelly Mom but I haven't found anything really helpful yet. I may have missed it. Does anyone have experience with leaving a breastfed baby for a week? How did it work out? I know alot depends on the age of the child and its temperament. I need advice!! Send this post far and wide and find me brains. I need to decide one way or another in the next 10 days.
I hate to be a downer but my BEST advice would be "Don't go." I feel that because I know you are an attachment parenting mother I can say this. each child/baby is unique but a baby who is used to being with her mommy 24/7 and who is then separated from her for not one or two days, but a whole week! is going to feel abandoned. She is not old enough yet to understand that you will come back. Even if she hears your voice on the phone she is going to feel confused, not relieved to "hear that you are okay." They did studies on children who were left for days/weeks at a time at hospitals without seeing their parents, as was the case not too llong ago. Even in the early 70's it was common to leave your child at a hospital under the care of staff. Parents weren't welcome and no one thought anything of separating children from their moms and dads. My best friend went through this herself as a child. She was hospitalized almost a full year with only weekly visits from her parents. But I digress...
ReplyDeleteStudies showed that these children withdrew, lost trust and became like zombies. The same kind of results we see now when children are left to cry it out every night.
So I wouldn't go. She'd be with family who loved her but it wouldn't be you. She loves you best.
As for the breastfeeding, it IS possible to re-establish the breastfeeding relationship, but it might be very challenging. If you do go and then try this out, try feeding her when she's the most calm, like night feedings or in the bath. If you manage it like you would a nursing strike then you can re-estabish it. But remember, it might take longer because she would also be needing to re-establish trust with you. You might find she cries a lot more and is more needy but because of the separation isn't as prepared to go to your breast for comfort.
Do what you NEED to do and what most feels right, but please consider that if it is a priority for you to nurse for 2 years and your relationship with your baby trumps everything else, you might want to wait another year or so.
All the best.
At this point, unless I find out that for some reason she can go with us, I don't think we're going to go. She's just too little. Like I said in the post, I'm not willing to risk our breastfeeding relationship for the sake of a vacation. There will always be more cruises, but she will only be this little once. If she were older it would be different. DH said tonite that he hadn't thought about the effect on her, and he agreed that it would be in her best interest for us not to leave her.
ReplyDeleteOops, I almost forgot. I've nominated you for the One Lovely blog Award.Hee's what I said about you: "Mother Mary’s Soapbox is the blog of a “first time homebirth momma, pregnancy activist, political junkie and loudmouth all balled into one.” She is also a breastfeeding mom and reminds me a lot of myself as a brand new mom. In each post I recognize something I wondered about as a newbie, something I wanted to do but couldn’t, questions I had and joys I experienced that I just had to share. Mother Mary is the new mom in all of us attachment parenting types."
ReplyDeleteCome on over and pick it up at breastfeedingmomsunite.com
OMG thats awesome! Thank you!
ReplyDelete